


Madness of the Heart

by fallingivy



Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types
Genre: Edward gets called out for being controlling, F/M, Love at First Sight, The course of true love never ran smooth
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-02
Updated: 2019-03-25
Packaged: 2019-10-21 05:40:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 19,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17636981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fallingivy/pseuds/fallingivy
Summary: Bella Swan never came to Forks. Amara did. She knows Edward is keeping secrets, but she is too. Is Edward everything she fears. Is he really a vampire? Is he really a controlling jerk? Whatever he is, she wants him around. Must be a Madness of the Heart.





	1. Suspicion at First Sight

I took a deep breath as I straightened my shirt yet again. Its soft lavender color reflected in the blued purple of my eyes. Eyes that checked my outfit over in the mirror for the fifth time that morning. The outfit was simple. Just the soft top with a slightly scooped neckline over nice jeans. They covered the tops of my favorite brown ankle boots. My coat was a simple black waterproof number that looked fine, as did the rest of me really. I worried my lip and tucked a strand of soft brown hair behind my ear that had come loose from my braid. 

“First day jitters?” A middle aged woman spoke from behind me as she came from the living room into the front hall. I twitched at the voice. 

“I know it’s a little crazy, Beth, but I’ve never done this before.” I defended myself. Beth smiled, her greying hair shaking as she shook her head. 

“You’ll be fine.” Beth assured me. “New people and new places isn’t new. You were fine in college.” She reminded me with a smirk. I nodded with an internal sigh. I adjusted the strap of my bag over my shoulder and set my shoulders for good measure. I walked over to the door and paused. I turned back with my mouth open to speak but Beth interrupted me before I could. “Amaranth, either march that butt out the door, or, so help me, I will kick it out for you.” She said with a teasing laugh. I smiled in spite of myself and left quickly, letting Beth’s chuckles fade behind me. 

I arrived at the high school parking lot in plenty of time. Early, in fact. I parked in front of the main office, cognoscente of the fact that there were no other students near it. I got out of the car and hurried into the building through the rain. The front door shut with a loud click behind me. 

The woman at the front desk smiled up at me as she peered at me through her glasses. The room smelled of her perfume, nothing too nauseating, but as pushy as her smile. She set aside a paper, after she made a mark on it, onto one of the teetering piles at her desk. He red hair fell loose and slightly wavy over her purple tee shirt. 

“Can I help you?” She asked. I smiled at her and nodded. 

“Its my first day. I’m Amara.” I explained. She still looked confused. “Beth Turner registered me.” Her face cleared on its pondering and assessing look. 

 

“Amaranth!” She greeting. It sounded somewhat disingenuous, but her smile was bright. “Of course.” She carefully flipped through a messy stack of papers on her desk. She triumphantly pulled loose a few paper-clipped pieces of paper. She brought them over to the counter that bisected the room where I stood waiting. She gave me my schedule, paperwork to get signed, and a map. She highlighted the best routes to take to each class for me. 

“Thank you for all your help Ms. Grey.” I told her pleasantly with a smile. “You’ve been so kind.” She smiled wide and took it graciously, obviously pleased. 

“I hope you like it here in our town.” She wished me. I smiled. 

“I like it so far.” I told her truthfully. As if I would say it any other way. 

I quickly studied the map before she left the room, memorizing the way to my first class. First I moved my car. The blue paint of the small car blended in fine, as did the obvious older model of the car. I locked up and patted the bonnet fondly before I started to weave through the throng of teenagers to the right building. Thankfully, they were numbered. 

“Hey!” A male voice greeted from my left. I turned to look. A small Asian teen came bounding up, full of energy. “I’m Eric. You must be Amaranth.” He smiled widely at me as he came to a stop in front of me. 

“I prefer Amara, actually.” I corrected with a half-smile. Prefer was one way to put it. The Asian teen took out a pad and scribbled it down. 

“Great info for your feature.” He said. “I work on the school paper and you are big news.” I laughed quietly. 

“Really?” I asked, still laughing and smiling at him. “How many new students do you get?” I cocked her head to the side still smiling. 

“You’re the first all year.” Eric told her. “I have to get an interview.” He looked excited and a little desperate. I took pity on him. 

“How ‘bout I see you at lunch and answer your questions?” I suggested. I pointed out the clock on the wall. “I’d hate to be late on my first day.” I said with a grin. “I’ll save that for a rainy day.” I winked at him, willing him to share the joke. He laughed. 

“Uh, cool.” He agreed. “No problem.” He backed up, putting his notebook away. “I will see you at lunch.” He looked at the paper in her hands. “Which class do you have?” 

“English.” I told him with a twisted smile. “I have a whole three more classrooms to pass that way.” I pointed in the direction I was going. “I can already see the door.” Eric looked and nodded. 

 

“Mr. Mason’s class.” He told me. “Good.” He looked exited. “I have to go there too. I can introduce you to him.” I smiled at him, a little overwhelmed by the helpfulness, but went along with it. 

“Sounds great.” I thanked him. He led the way, unnecessarily, to the classroom. He hung up his coat on one of the hooks by the wall and I followed suit. Eric made his way to the easily 6’ 2” man at the teacher’s desk. He spoke to him quickly, explaining who I was, and the nickname. I went up to the two of them with an easy smile on my face that I didn’t exactly feel as Mr. Mason got out some papers from his desk. 

“Here is the reading list and the syllabus.” He instructed. I nodded, looking over the list quickly. “There’s a seat for you in the back.” I handed him the form I needed signed and he initialed it with a scant glance. 

“Thank you.” I told him as sincerely as I could. I took the form and smiled at him with another nod of thanks before thanking Eric and going to the back row’s empty seat. Students in the class turned and stared. Eric waved and told me he’d talk to me after class. I smiled and murmured in agreement. 

I put the form away and pulled out a pencil and a pad, but pulled the syllabus over it. The bell rang and the teacher began to rally the class into a discussion on Jane Eyre. He tried repeatedly to get answers from the students, trying to get their responses to the book. I had read the book years ago, but remembered it well.

“What about Jane’s urge to carve out her own life?” Mr. Mason asked. “What do you think of it? What makes this interesting?” The class was silent. I sighed a little, but raised my hand. Mr. Mason looked up at me in surprise. “Amaranth. You have an answer for us?” He sounded as surprised as he looked. I smiled. 

“I find Jane’s burgeoning individuality unique to the time period in its proto-feministic attitudes to the status of women in society.” I told him. “The time period in which this was written is intrinsic to its story, as a woman of that time written with such character and veracity was a rarity.” Mr. Mason’s mouth fell open a bit and the class stared at me. I had just quoted a paper a write once. “Also, could you please call me Amara?.” Eyebrows went up.

“Very nice.” Mr. Mason said eventually. “Yes.” He paused. “Jane is self-motivated and independent. It was rare at the time was a woman who wanted and could take care of herself or even wanted to, to be written about, especially in a good light.” The class moved on, but there were glances back at me throughout the class. Mr. Mason no longer left me out of his random calling on students, now calling me by Amara, and I answered his questions a little less verbosely. 

The end of class bell rang shortly after Mr. Mason handed out the homework assignment. The short written response to the next chapter wouldn’t be a hardship. Eric came up to me at the back of the room.

 

“Wow.” He said. “You must be super smart.” I shook my head. 

“I’ve just read the book a few times and wrote a paper on it already.” I told him honestly. I just left out where. “Just wait until we get to something I haven’t read yet, then I will look like a fish out of water.” I said with a smile. He relaxed a bit and walked ahead of me as I made my way to the front of the classroom. Mr. Mason gave me a nod of approval with his balding head. Sucking up the teachers would work, probably. I would have to rely on being pretty and nice, not to mention new and shiny, to get out of being picked on for it. I smiled and nodded back. 

“So.” Eric began as we grabbed our coats. “What class do you have now?” 

“Government.” I informed him. Eric nodded. 

“I’ll show you where it is.” He offered. I tried to refuse, saying it would be out of his way, but he insisted. I shrugged and he led the way. We were followed suspiciously closely by people who were watching us. I tried to ignore them.

“Thanks.” I said shaking my head at his eagerness. 

“So, this must be lots different from New York.” Eric offered, trying to start a conversation. I smiled at his attempt. 

“Why am I not surprised that the reporter knows where I’m from?” I teased. Eric looked ready to explain, but I cut him off. “Well, it’s a lot friendlier, for one.” I told him kindly. He smiled. 

“I bet it’s weird to not have all those people and noise.” He commented. I laughed. 

“I’m glad I get to drive my car, actually.” I told him honestly. “There is nowhere to park in NY, and it’s nice to be able to drive it somewhere.” Eric laughed. 

“Great quote for the feature.” Eric told me. I smiled. We walked in the door of the other building. He dropped me off quickly, after he had me explain my comment on Jane.

Government was reading. Trig was just a worksheet. I turned mine in to the substitute and left for Spanish. I had a few brave students introduce themselves to me. They would give me their names and ask how I was liking Forks. My go-to answer was that there was not enough rain, and to wink. I got a few chuckles. Jessica started talking to me before the bell had rung for Spanish. She had been bursting at the seams in math, and now that the militaristic sub was in the past, she got to talk. And talking was something she excelled at. She gave me a running commentary on the school. By the end of the hour, I knew who the couples were, who the exes were, and which teachers would let you out of class. 

 

She and a few of her friends escorted me to lunch. I tried not to smile down at the 5 foot nothing girl. She was full of insecurity and energy. I waved to Eric when I saw he was at my table. He grinned and waved back. 

“So what’s New York like?” Mike asked with a wide and easy smile. I laughed with a few of my table. 

“It’s loud.” I started. “Always moving, never sleeping.” I added. “It’s dirty and windy and expensive. And pretty awesome, in its own way.” I smiled at the last. 

“Did you see someone get shot?” Eric asked. I shook my head. 

“But someone did get shot on our street before we moved.” I added. They all gasped. I nodded in confirmation. 

“Why Forks?” A girl whose name I didn’t know asked. 

“Because we like the rain.” I said with a smile. I got a couple of chuckles at that.

“Your mom likes the rain too?” Jessica asked. I nodded. 

“It’s an acquired taste, but she is a writer and rain inspires her.” I admitted. “I might be sick of the rain in a few months.” The conversation turned to catching up on what had happened over the weekend, which as it turned out, wasn’t much. I dug into my food, chewing slowly to avoid talking and looking around the room.

All around me were groups I’d only seen described in books before. The art-sy crowd, the jocks, the nerds, and music geeks. All the usual tables. I noticed, with slight chagrin, that this was probably the popular table, given the stares, and the many hanger’s on. One table stood out though. I cocked my head a little, staring. Something was off about them. 

There was a tall blonde model, a gorgeous broad shouldered boy, a small, frankly adorable, sprite of a girl, hanging near a blonde boy who appeared to hate breathing, and a tall boy with reddish brown sex hair. All overly perfect. Seriously weird. No one approached their table. Suddenly, the sex haired boy turned his head quickly to face the table. He caught my eyes, making mine widen. They were a molten dark gold. They held my gaze, enraptured and puzzled.

“I see you found the Cullens.” Jessica teased. I started and blinked, then I half turned to her with a smile.

“The Cullens?” I asked. I faced her more fully, keeping the table in my periphery. The whole table stilled by the slightest degree. The sex-haired boy kept his eyes on our table.

“Yeah.” Jessica told me, in a tone that warned of juicy gossip approaching. I leaned in a little, which made her smile. 

“That’s Edward and Emmet Cullen, with Alice Cullen. The two blonde ones are Rosalie and Jasper Hale.” Jessica told me in confidence. Then she lean forward. “They all live together with Dr. Cullen and his wife.” I raised an eyebrow, like I was expected to. She nodded. “I know.” I peered back over at the table. 

“Do they usually look like they all stepped off a cat walk?” I asked blandly, glancing at them. Sex-hair as staring at me. Glaring at me like it would make me reveal my secrets. As if I would make it that easy.

“Yes!” Jessica said gleefully. “They’re all together, though.” Jessica warned me. “Emmett and Rosalie. And then Jasper and Alice. I mean…” She glanced around a little, checking for listeners. “And…they live together.” She said meaningfully. I could sense her shock and slight condemnation, along with her jealousy. I nodded seriously, internally shaking my head. 

“Which ones are which?” I asked. Jessica had obviously warmed to her subject. 

“Jasper and Rosalie are the blonde twins. They’re the Hales and they are foster children. They both are eighteen now, but they’ve been with Mrs. Cullen since they were eight. I think she’s their Aunt or something.” I nodded sagely. 

“It’s great that she took them in. Good for her, especially because I guess she wasn’t very old.” I said with interest. 

“I guess so...” Jessica said trailing off. Some of my confusion must have shown. “I don’t think Mrs. Cullen can have any kids, though.” She added. I nodded, forcing the anger and disappointment I felt from showing. I flicked my gaze back to the table. The little pixie girl that I wanted to hug and give a cookie to she was so adorable skipped gracefully to the trash and threw away what looked like a full tray. I took a swallow of my milk, in remembrance of my own meal, while warning bells went off in my head.

“How long have they lived here?” I asked, staying casually interested.

“They just moved down here two years ago from Alaska.” She told me. I nodded and added it to my list. I internally started making a list of inquiries. They didn’t look… right. Sex-hair was still staring at me, but he wasn’t being as obvious about it.

“Which one is the one with the… reddish hair?” I asked, catching myself just barely from calling him Sex-hair. Jessica looked peeved, but put on a fake smile. 

“That’s Edward.” Jessica told me. “He’s gorgeous, of course, but don’t waste your time. He doesn’t date. Apparently none of the girls here are good enough for him.” I could practically taste the bitterness. I had the take a bite of apple to not laugh at her. After I swallowed and calmed myself, I turned back to her, as Sex-hair, now Edward, got up and threw away his tray. It was also full.

“I get it.” I told her. “I don’t date either.” Jessica looked offended. 

“What do you mean?” Jessica said, louder than everything else up to this point. “You don’t date?” She looked like I had grown a tail. I laughed. 

“Just think of it this way; more fish in the sea for you.” I told her, she looked mollified, but still shocked. 

“Never?” Eric asked from my other side. I nodded. 

“Never have, and I doubt that will change any time soon.” I told him. “Maybe after college.” Eric looked sad. I picked up tray and held a hand out for his. “Want me to take care of your tray?” I offered. He looked up from his hands at my smile, he smiled back and shrugged. I took his empty tray and bussed them both. 

Everyone cleaned up and we all headed to our next classes. Angela walked me to Biology. She was a sweet girl and we talked about baking, of all things, already planning on baking pies over at her house sometime. Angela went in and hung up her coat on the hooks by the door. I followed her example. She wished me luck and sat over to fill one of the black lab table in the room. I went to get my form signed as the bell rang. I noticed that all but one seat was filled. The seat next to Edward Cullen. 

I walked down the aisle and sat in the vacant seat. He scooted away but faced me. I turned likewise. 

“Hello.” He greeted. His voice carried a greater weight than it should. It confused me, and I added it to my list of weird things to look into. “I’m Edward Cullen. You’re Amara Turner.” I smiled at him. 

“No need for such formality.” I told him. “Use my Christian name.” He smiled slightly, seemingly in spite of himself. 

“As you wish, Amara.” He said. The cadence of his speech was off. I put a little check mark next to the fact that he knows what a Christian name means. I still gave him a smile. Even if… well I didn’t have enough information. No hasty decisions. He was probably not what I thought anyway.

Class started. The teacher began the lesson on DNA replication. I nearly died of boredom. I ended up doodling a model double helix in my notebook, labeling it, and then drawing it in the middle of replicating. Eventually, the last bit of class was a worksheet, during which we could talk.

“So…” I struggled for small talk. “I hear you’re a foster child.” He looked at me strangely. “Or was it adopted?” I thought for a moment. His face cleared a bit, as he glanced at some of the girls in the class. 

“Adopted.” Edward answered. I nodded. 

“Ah.” I said sagely. “Cool.” I smiled at him. He looked confused again.

“Cool?” He asked. I smiled wider and chuckled a little at him. 

“Because we could start a club.” I told him. He face cleared. 

“You’re adopted.” He said. 

“Right in one.” I told him with a lopsided grin. “So I do kind of understand.” I turned a little more in my seat after jotting down a couple of answers. “How long have you been with the Cullens?”

“It feels like forever.” Edward told me, dark humor coloring his voice. I felt the inclination to touch him. It was strange. Also, forever was another check mark. “And you?” 

“About the same.” I told him, just as evasively. He furrowed his brow. And it was the most beautiful furrowed brow I had ever seen. I mean, really, who looks beautiful with a furrowed brow?

“And before that?” Edward asked, pressing. His face was searching, he seemed unsatisfied with my answers and frustrated for some reason. 

“Here and there.” I shrugged. “I don’t really like to talk about it very much. It wasn’t a good time.” Edward looked sympathetic and frustrated at the same time. It was amusing. “I mean, do you want to talk about the time in your life before you were adopted?” Edward shook his head. I wrote down a couple more answers. He glanced at my page. 

“Have you taken this class before?” He asked. I internally cursed myself a little for being distracted, but went with my story. 

“I was home schooled.” I explained. “I always had a thirst for knowledge. The practical labs are probably going to be interesting, but book knowledge? I’ve got it down.” Edward gave me a slight smile and nod of the head. I remembered all my hours of studying over the years, alone with my books. 

“That’s good to hear, Ms. Turner.” The teacher told me from behind my head. I turned and smiled at him. “Are you done with your work too?” He asked. I nodded and reached blindly for my paper. My hand met a cold hard one and I looked with a gasp of shock. The flare of recognition went through me. He jerk his hand away, and I recovered to grab the paper and hand it to the teacher. Edward handed his over as well, though I had been watching, and he had written barely anything in my sight, which meant something, but I was reeling. The teacher looked them over and nodded. “Good thing you two are partnered then.” He walked away with the papers to help out other groups. I took a moment to steady myself, then turned back to Edward. Who was definitely something?

“So.” I started, trying to recover the nonchalance. “Batman or Superman?” He looked at me strangely. “We should know the important things about each other.” I explained with a smirk. He seemed to laugh slightly in spite of himself. And wow that was a nice sound. He calmed himself. 

“I must say that I do prefer Superman.” Edward admitted. I fake frowned. 

“Heathen.” I hissed with a wink. “Batman is the only good choice.” 

“But Superman would win.” Edward countered. I shook my head.

“Not everything is about winning.” I explained. “Batman is a whole person. He has needs, and desires, and faults. He still, in spite of all of the obstacles and physical injury, fights the good fight every night.” I explained. “Yeah he uses his wealth, but he puts his life on the line every day.” I raised an eyebrow at him. “Tell me that Superman goes to work knowing that he might die today, that he is not doing this because he was told to.” Edward paused in thought for a microsecond, his entire body freezing even in breathing. I added it too my list of suspicions, but kept up the interested friendly smile. 

“I see your point.” Edward conceded, breathing again. I smiled wider. 

“Excellent.” I changed subjects. “Pick a superpower. Invisibility, or flying.” 

“Flying.” Edward shot back immediately. I smiled. 

“We agree.” I winked at him. “Something about the wind in your hair and speeding along is just glorious.” He gave me a surprised, but genuine, smile. It was breathtaking. I bit my lip. “Cats or dogs?” He looked a little lost for a fraction of second, then responded. 

“Cats.” He decided. I smiled. 

“Another accord.” I celebrated. “2 out of 3 ain’t bad, as Meatloaf said. Now we can be friends.” 

“It wouldn’t be wise to be friends with me.” Edward warned. I shrugged. 

“Fools rush in, where wise men never go.” I quoted. He raised an eyebrow. I raised one back. The bell rang. We all left the room. Edward fled as soon as he could, moving with controlled speed and grace. I shrugged. 

“Oh my god.” Angela said, coming up behind me. “You talked with Edward Cullen and got him to laugh. You have to tell me everything.” I smiled. 

 

“Ok.” I turned to Angela after a moment of staring where he had gone. “He’s… interesting.”


	2. How to not get hit by a car

That night, I did some research, but nothing added up. I even hacked the police database for missing persons or deaths and there was no pattern. Nothing. They must be something I didn’t know about. And wasn’t that intriguing. They weren’t hurting anyone, from what I could tell. And if they came from Alaska like the rumors said, then the pattern would hold. I cleared the records of my search off my computer and turned off my light for bed at nearly 2 am. I looked over at the simple sketch I had made of Edward’s face. I smiled sadly, with faint hope. Maybe.

I settled down in the bed for sleep, wishing the curtains on my window were thicker to block out the light of the moon, and closed my eyes, starting to meditate. I almost slipped out of my breathing pattern when I heard a slight sound at the window sometime later. I stayed still, relaxed and rhythmically breathing in bed. I saw a humanoid shape in my mind’s eye, lurking at the window. I waited. Nothing happened. I lay there all night, waiting, and nothing. After the sun rose and hit my face, I opened my eyes. There was a streak a color outside the window, then nothing. I almost missed it myself. I was glad that my window was locked. I wondered what it had been. Who it had been.

Going over to the window, I opened it to the day. There was nothing. No marks. No trace of powder, or sign that something had been there. I left them open and pulled the curtains shut as I got ready for school, shutting and locking the window again as I left the room. 

I shook off the stress of the morning as I parked at the school. The roads had been particularly icy that day, and I had needed especial care on the roads. My little Buick was pushing 50, and I didn’t need to stress it too badly, even though I knew it was built like a tank. I got out of my car in the student lot and went around to the passenger’s side, listening to my music through my headphones. I opened the passenger’s side door and pulled out my backpack, quickly shutting it behind me and pocketing the keys. Still facing the car, I pulled out my can of red bull and zipped the bag. 

I heard tires squeal and spun. The first thing I saw was the horror on the faces of Edward and Alice across the parking lot. Then I took in the huge metal van hurtling towards me across the icy parking lot. I was going to be crushed between the two cars. 

“Crap.” I whispered, and closed my eyes, dropping my bag. 

I felt a hard force slam into me. But not from the direction I was expecting. When I opened my eyes, I saw the van approaching as I was pushed to the ground. My head hit the pavement and bounced. I saw a hand outstretched from above me, toward the van. As the van struck it, it crushed it. And not the hand. The van. The hand crushed the speeding van. The hand then acted as a fulcrum, pulling the other side of the van closer to us. That is, me and my mystery helper. I heard a grumble of a male voice above me as he grabbed my legs and swung them out of the way of the van. It stopped. I relaxed against the pavement and the hard arm holding me. 

“Amara.” A voice called urgently. He turned me over. I was faced with the very eyes I had been drawing the night before. I heard frantic calls from the other side of the cars. “Amara, are you hurt?” Edward seemed slightly frantic himself.

“I’m fine.” I said in surprise. “Not a scratch.” I assured him, slightly breathless. He relaxed a little. “Hide the handprint.” I reminded him, blinking back at him, a little hazy. He looked surprised for a moment, then schooled his face. 

“What handprint?” I looked back and only saw a crushed side. I raised an eyebrow. 

“The one that was there a minute ago.” I said slowly. “After you stopped the van.”

“I think you hit your head too hard.” He said in a clenched tone. I sighed. 

Then the group found us and started fussing. Edward was quick to mention that I hit my head. That meant I was strapped in and put in an ambulance. I was fussed over and Beth was called and it was entirely frustrating. 

At the hospital, Tyler was incredibly apologetic. Overly so. Annoyingly so. 

“Amaranth.” The doctor greeted. I looked up. He was blonde, and unrealistically gorgeous. Too much, in the same way that Edward was. 

“Amara.” I corrected. He smiled. His name tag read Dr. Cullen. I wasn’t surprised. 

“That was quite a spill you took.” He commented. “How are you feeling?” 

“Fine.” I said with a shrug. Beth was hovering, and I really was fine.

“You might experience some post-traumatic stress or disorientation, but your vitals look good.” He told me. “No sign of head trauma. You should be just fine.” I nodded, not really worried, while he made some notation in the chart. 

“Yep.” I said popping the p. “Edward saw it coming and got us out of the way. I was just too distracted.” 

“Edward?” Beth asked. I nodded to confirm. 

“Edward Cullen.” I answered. 

“Any relation?” She asked the doctor. He nodded. 

“My son.” He looked stressed. 

“Yeah, we got lucky.” I told them, looking at Carlyle for tells. “That van could have crushed me.” Carlyle nodded with a smile. 

“I guess you were very lucky.” He said. He wished me fast recovery and told me what danger signs to look for, before leaving. He looked stressed around the eyes. Beth and I talked for a moment about the accident and arranged for my ride to school the next day. We grabbed my things and Beth went to pay while I made my way to the exit. 

Around the corner I saw Rosalie, Carlyle, and Edward all speaking in hushed voices, hushed voices that were too low for anyone passing to hear. And all three of them were stressed. I took a deep breath and interrupted. 

“Edward.” I called. He turned to me. “Can I talk to you for a moment?” I asked with faux sweetness. He practically stomped over, angrily. I smiled at him. 

“What?” He asked shortly, looking like he wanted to be anywhere else. The anger confused me and threw me off.

“Um.” I started. He looked more annoyed. “Thank you.” He nodded, still looked upset.

“You’re welcome.” He said just as shortly. I paused, searching for the right words. He let out an impatient breath. “Can I go now?” I shook my head.

“I just wanted to say…” I paused. He glowered. “I saw what you really did.” He looked like he was going to speak and I spoke over it. “And I appreciate the risk you took.” I told him. “And your secret, whether or not you tell it, is safe with me.” He looked confused. I sighed. “I’m not going to tell anyone.”

“There’s nothing to tell.” Edward countered in a terse tone. I smiled in spite of his animosity. 

“Exactly.” I told him. “We got lucky. It all happened so fast.” I winked at him. I half turned to go. “But I am curious.” I said. He froze halfway through his own turn. “And if you did tell me, I could surprise you.” He was unlikely to be what I feared. He had saved me, after all. 

“You always do.” He muttered as he walked away. I chuckled under my breath.

*********** 

“I swear to God that today is the day that I am going to slap him.” I ranted to Beth in the kitchen. “I have sat next to the bastard for over an hour every single day for bloody months.” I set the plate I had just dried in the cupboard with more force than necessary. “If he wasn’t driving me up the wall, I would be impressed that he has managed to go so long without speaking directly to me. I think he has been inventing hand gestures just to do so.” Beth laughed at me. I pouted. She laughed harder. 

“I’m sorry that your teenage crush doesn’t know you exist.” Beth teased. 

“Oh, he knows I exist.” I argued. “He shoots me enough confused looks or stares at me when I’m not looking for me to know that. But dear god the boy is frustrating.” I grumbled while Beth put away the last cup in the cupboard. 

“Have patience.” Beth advised. “Teenage boys are delicate creatures.” I scoffed. 

“I am going to delicately steal his backpack and hide it so that he has to talk to me to get it back.” I counter. Beth’s eyes crinkled with laughter as she shoved my backpack into my hands. 

“The boy cared enough to pull you out of the path of a moving car.” Beth reminded me. “You can wait until he gets his head out of his ass.” I huffed, but took the bag and slung it over my shoulder. 

“It is a far, far, better thing I do now than I have ever done before.” I quoted in resigned solemnity. Beth chuckled and shook her head. 

“I think my mother would disagree with you.” Beth countered, a small fond smile stealing across her face. I reflected my own at her and pulled her into a hug. 

“She would have been so proud of you.” I told her truthfully. I kissed her cheek and gave her a parting hair ruffle on my way out the door. She smacked my butt in response. “Very mature!” I shot back at her laughing form before a shut the door behind me with a smile. 

At school, I suffered through a boring grammar lesson in English that was pointless, and needlessly pedantic, and other lessons that were entirely unmemorable, before I made my weary way to lunch. That, at least, was worth it. Angela and I had become reasonably good friends and had had a few Saturdays of baking at her house. She had been one of the ones to help me field all of the inquisitive well-wishers in the post-accident era.

Talk was all about the Dance. It was girl’s choice, and Jessica was usually a whirlwind of information about it. Not today though. Today, Jessica was quiet and withdrawn, and barely looking at me. I wondered what had happened to make her so upset. 

I found out the next period. Mike was quiet as Angela and I walked with him to class. He had taken to chatting with me before the bell at my desk, perched on top with his legs swinging over the side. He looked supremely uncomfortable and nervous.

“So…” Mike said, refusing to meet my eyes. “Jessica asked me to the spring dance.” He nearly mumbled. My eyebrows went up. That explained her mood at lunch then. I hoped he hadn’t rejected her. 

 

“What did you say?” I asked. Jessica was just insecure. She had a lot of growing up to do, and Mike would be good for her.

“Well…” He started, then swallowed. “I told her I had to think about it.” I was confused. 

“Why would you do that?” I asked. Teenage boys must be a different species. I could feel Edward’s attention on me and he was shivering with what looked like laughter. Mike went a little red at the collar and licked his lips nervously. My head cocked to the side in confusion.

“Well…” He stuttered. “I was wondering if… if well… if you might be planning on asking me.” Both my eyebrows hit my hairline. Edward tilted his head slightly up toward me, as if on reflex, listening to me. 

“Mike, you should tell her yes.” I told him calmly, pulling out my ‘mom voice.’ “I am not going to be dating anyone, and I am not going to that dance at all. It is impolite to keep a lady waiting.” 

“Yeah.” Mike said, tone resigned. “You’re right.”

“I usually am.” I joked. He smiled, albeit sadly as he walked back to his seat. I turned to the teacher as the bell rang and closed my eyes. I took a deep breath and let it out, trying to drain the tension of the all the drama. I could feel Edward’s eyes on me as I opened mine and looked back at him. Mr. Banner, out teacher, was talking, but I was entranced by Edward’s eyes, soft and swirling like dark butter toffee. My heart stuttered in my chest like a traitor. 

“The Krebs Cycle.” Edward said, answering Mr. Banner without missing a beat. He turned to look at the teacher. I thought I could find a hint of reluctance in his posture. My heart resumed its regular programing and I face forward again, eyes unseeing. Edward hadn’t met my eyes in over month, not since our little conversation at the hospital. Not a word, not a look, nothing. I turned over the strange, electrical tension between us in my mind. I analyzed possible reasons and motivations and got lost once again in the feeling of having him so close to me, yet so far away. 

The bell broke my musings. I kept myself from jumping, but let in a sharp intake of breath. I scooted in my chair, expecting Edward to breeze past me. 

“Amara?” Edward called in a tone that was almost tentative. I turned to look at him once again in surprise. He had broken his self-imposed silence. 

“Are you going to talk to me again?” I asked, involuntarily. I winced at how resigned it sounded. He chuckled. 

“Not really.” He teased, a half-smile playing across his face.

“Then what are we doing?” I asked, smiling slightly in spite of my frustration. 

“I’m sorry.” He said sincerely. “I’m being very rude, I know. But it is better this way.”

“Better for who?” I asked. I looked into his eyes searchingly.

“It’s better for you if we are not friends.” He said earnestly, leaning forward slightly. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath in through my nose. The slightly spicy scent of whatever his was wearing still intrigued me, but the anger won out. I reached down and grabbed my bag, shoving my books into it blindly. I stood and only then opened my eyes to see his. They went from sadly resigned to serious quickly. 

“You are not the one who gets to decide what is best for me.” I told him with a calmness and control that I did not feel. “Do not try to make decisions for me, Edward.” I looked into his startled eyes. I guess my tone went a little too odd there. I sighed in resignation and turned around. He let me walk away.

Gym meant basketball today. I was still learning the rules of the game, having never played before, and caused my teammates a good bit of laughter. I laughed with them. Although that stopped when they found out that I could make it in the hoop from the three point line or anywhere near it nearly all the time. It was the trade-off for not being able to dribble the ball and run at the same time. Like, at all. 

I was distracted though. Edward’s behavior confused me. I knew that his eyes had been on me when I hadn’t been facing him for weeks. He still seemed to regard me with much of the same fascination and confusion that I regarded him. Awareness of his presence was always somewhere in the back of my mind at school. 

When gym finally ended, I changed back into street clothes, chatting with some of my teammates. We laughed over the coach tripping over a basketball earlier that period. The expression had been priceless. I walked out to my car after bidding the girls goodbye. The car had held up rather well. Much of the damage had been cosmetic. It had taken me less than weekend to fix it up road-worthy again. Of course, I had taken the opportunity to give her a tune up. 

Leaning against the side of my car as I approach was Eric. We had gotten to be reasonably good friends, so it wasn’t too much of a surprise. The look of nervous discomfort on his face was, however. 

“What’s up, buttercup?” I asked coming over to him with a smile. I hoped it wasn’t girl trouble. I wasn’t sure how to deal with that. He swallowed.

“Hi, Amara.” He nearly choked. Dear, I hoped the boy was ok. 

“Uh...um…” He stuttered. “I was wondering… If you…. that is… would you…” He took a deep breath. “Would you go to the dance with me?” He let out in a rush. I tilted my head in confusion.

“The girl’s choice dance?” I clarified. He looked super embarrassed. Poor baby duck.

“Well, Yeah.” He admitted. His wouldn’t looked at me. I let out a low breath and gathered my patience. He really was a sweetheart, but far too immature. I was not going to be dating a high schooler. That would be just… wrong. 

“I’m not asking anyone to the dance because I’m not going.” I told him a gently as I could. His shoulders slumped. “I’m not going to any dance. I don’t plan on going on any dates either.” I told him honestly. 

“Oh.” He said. “Never?” He asked, still hopeful. 

“Don’t keep your hopes up, Eric.” I told him. “In the highly unlikely event that I ever go on a date, it will be because I asked them.” I gave him a smile and pat on the shoulder as he slouched away with a sad goodbye. 

Edward was walking past the front of my car with an amused expression. At least I thought it was amused. His lips were tightly pressed together and it looked like he was fighting laughter. I let out a huff of laughter myself and got into my car. I turned on the radio softly and turned over the engine, hearing it purr. By the time I pulled out in the aisle, Edward was already there, pulled to a stop. The rest of the Cullens were walking at a sedate pace to the car, all the way from the cafeteria. I grumbled at Edward’s annoying habits until I heard a knock at my window. I rolled it down halfway using the crank to see what Tyler wanted. 

“What can I do you for?” I asked, faking a humor and ease I didn’t feel. “I can’t push Edward out of the way, but if he takes too much longer, I’ll try.” Tyler laughed and shook his head. 

“Nah.” His disagreed. He thought I was kidding. My baby would total Edward’s little toy car. “I just wanted to ask you something, since we’re trapped here.” Oh god. If he asked me to the dance I might snap. Tyler got on my nerves on a good day. “Will you ask me to the spring dance?” 

“No.” I responded quickly, still smiling. A patently fake smile, but a smile none the less. Tyler’s bravado faded a little. 

“No?” He asked. I nodded. 

“Not dating right now, Tyler.” I told him. I wondered if I was being cruel. I didn’t want to be cruel. But I did want him to stop asking me out. This was the third time. 

“Yeah, Mike said that.” He admitted. My patience was very close to snapping. 

“Why would you ask me when you already knew my answer?” I asked, confused by his logic. Teenage boy logic. They were like an exotic species. This entire situation was his fault. I was starting to lose my temper at his smug face. He seemed to think he was entitled to a date of something. 

“I was hoping you were letting him down easy.” He admitted, shrugging and looking entirely full of himself. I had the urge to slap him. 

“Not lying about this, Tyler.” I told him, trying not the clench my teeth. Not lying about anything. His shrugged again, still full of entitlement.

“Oh well. We will always have prom.” He said as he walked away back to his car. My jaw dropped at him inability to understand a no. If he tried again, I was just going to say hell no. Forget this being nice. I fumed as I followed a laughing Edward and his family out of the parking lot. I had to reign in the urge to break his precious little car. I settled for an oil leak in his precious car. It made me feel better. I bet Sex-hair Edward would have to get it fixed by someone who would get their hands dirty. Served him right for making me have that conversation with Tyler. I bet he planned it and enjoyed watching the whole thing.


	3. Chapter 3

At home that night, I vented to Beth, who listened patiently, then told me to grow up. I laughed and calmed the rest of the way down. They were just kids, after all. They didn’t know better. I helped Beth clean up the mess from dinner as we chatted about her upcoming trip. She was leaving for London for two weeks the next day. 

I helped her pack that night as we watched an old Disney film in her room. 

“This meeting with the publishers could make your books international, right?” I asked again. Beth smiled and confirmed it. 

“But it’s going to be a grueling set of meetings.” She argued. “My agent is setting things up so that we have time to site see too, but mostly its business.” 

“Hopefully you’ll meet a cute London woman and ride off into the sunset together.” I teased with a smile, folding a pair of pants. Beth laughed for a second, then put a hand on my arm. 

“You know that I will never cut you out of my life, right?” Beth said seriously. She made me look at her. I swallowed. I didn’t want to hope that it would stay true. 

“I want you to be happy, Beth.” I told her honestly. “If I have to go away to do that, then that is what I will do.” Beth frowned at me. We’d been through a lot, I knew that. But Beth was over thirty now. She was looking for a romantic partner, and her last girlfriend had been almost a year before. Beth took my hand and made me look at her. 

“Ama.” She said, using her old nickname for me. I smiled at the memories of childhood that it brought to mind. “You have been there for me every step of the way since my mother died. You were there at the hospital, and tucked me into sleep every night. I remember how you would fall asleep in the chair by my bed, just because I asked you to not leave me alone.” I licked my lips, eyes a little wet. 

“You weren’t ready to be left alone.” I reminded her. She nodded, but looked piercingly into my eyes. 

“Neither are you.” She informed me. “I am not going to leave you alone in the world.” I smiled with wet eyes until the tears overflowed. Beth pulled me into a warm hug, her eyes also wet. A romantic duet started on the screen and I pulled away, wiping my eyes. 

“Look at us: Two old weepy ladies.” I joked. Beth laughed and wiped her own eyes. 

We talked until 2 about old stories from Beth’s childhood, then the things that we had done together at university. I fell into bed fully clothed after a brief goodnight and goodbye to Beth as she left for her plane at 3. I reminded myself that it was only a few weeks as I looked at my new blackout curtains. I wouldn’t be alone for long. 

*********

The next morning I parked in the school parking lot on time, despite the lack of sleep. I had gone longer without it. I locked the car as I got out and swung my bag around onto my back. I shut the door and slid my keys into my pocket with the other hand. Or I would have if I hadn’t completely missed my pocket and dropped them into a puddle instead. I sighed and bent to pick them up. Before I could, a white hand flashed in front of me and grabbed them out of the puddle. I straightened back up and peered up at Edward Cullen. He was leaning against my car, my keys dangling from his fingers. 

“That’s some trick.” I said, holding my hand out for my keys, palm up. He dropped them into it softly, making sure we didn’t touch. 

“What is?” He seemed confused. I smirked up at him.

“The way you cross a parking lot so fast.” I poked at him. On a different face, his response would have been an ugly scowl. I pondered briefly if there was an expression he could make that would make him ugly. It made me want to try. “Anyway, do you enjoy pissing me off?” He looked confused again. I decided it was my favorite expression of his. 

“Pissing you off?” He echoed. 

“Yep.” I told him. “Giving Tyler the chance to annoy me yesterday.” The confusion cleared and he looked amused. 

“That was for Tyler’s sake.” Edward informed me. I huffed in amusement. 

“Then, for Tyler’s sake, don’t let him do it again.” I told him. He seemed even more amused. My anger flared a little, but I calmed it. 

“You are very good at irritating me.” I informed him. He nearly laughed. “Are you trying to irritate me to death?” I asked. “There are easier ways to kill.” His eyes went dark. 

“Amara, don’t be absurd.” His voice was cold and chilling and, most of all, dismissive. I immediately got defensive.

“Rude.” I told him, pointing at him. I gave him a meaningful look, then started walking toward the school building. 

“Wait!” He called. I paused and let him catch up before I started walking again. I glanced at him meaningfully. “I’m sorry, that was rude.” He apologized. I nodded in acknowledgement. “I’m not saying that it wasn’t true, but it was rude to say so.” 

“What you said wasn’t the problem in this case.” I told him. “I joke, you dismiss. It was rude.” He was quiet as we walked on. “I thought you were ignoring me.” 

“I wanted to ask you something.” He said, changing the subject. I stopped where I was and turned to him. 

“If you ask me to the dance, I will set your car on fire.” I told him flatly. He chuckled. “Seriously, if I want to date someone, I will show up with flowers and ask them.” He looked entirely too amused. I huffed out an exasperated sigh. “You just did that to get a rise out of me.” He nodded and chuckled. I scowled, but couldn’t keep the scowl as I started to chuckle too. 

“I just can’t understand you.” I said, shaking my head. “You say you don’t want to be my friend, yet here we are.” Edward lot his smile. 

“I said that it would be better if we weren’t friends, not that I didn’t want to be.” Edward corrected. 

“Wonderful. Pedantic.” I grumbled. He looked amused. “When you’ve made a decision, let me know.” I said, and walked off, leaving him to watch me leave. 

**********

I was distracted all through the conversation with Mike and Eric about the beach trip. I kept thinking about how Edward really wasn’t making up his mind. If he didn’t like me, fine. My existence didn’t hinge on his approval, strange connection or not. It bothered me to no end that he stared at me and watched me, but wouldn’t speak to me. At least hopefully now that phase would end. 

I walked with my new group of friends into the cafeteria for lunch. I automatically checked if Edward was watching me from his usual table with his family. He wasn’t. He wasn’t because he wasn’t there. It was slightly off-putting. They never missed school, unless it was as a group. It was disorienting. I guess I knew his decision. That was to avoid me whenever possible. I tried to swallow the confusing and unexplainable sadness at the thought. 

I grabbed my milk and a cookie and joined my friends at the table. I wasn’t really hungry anymore, and the idea that he could affect me like that made me mad at myself. I tried to clear myself out of this funk. I didn’t understand why he was having such an impact on my moods. I had never met someone who did that without me actually knowing them. I’d had three conversations with him ever. It made no sense. Jessica startled me out of my revelry. 

“Edward Cullen is staring at you again.” Jessica told me. My head jerked up and looked at her. He was here. And I wasn’t the only person to notice that he stared at me all the time. “I wonder why he’s sitting all by himself today?” I followed her gaze to find Edward sitting by himself at a different, and usually empty, table. He caught my eye with a slightly amused look on his face. Then he raised his hand in a come hither motion that nearly made me giggle. I furrowed my brow in disbelief. So he winked at me and did it again. I rolled my eyes. 

“I guess his highness wants me to sit with him today.” I told Jessica, turning towards her. She looked at me in awe as I stood up and grabbed my things. I made my way over to Edward under her jealous gaze. When I reached the table, I stood on the opposite side from Edward and tilted my head at him. 

“Why don’t you sit with me today?” He asked, a sure smile on his face. I considered smiling back and saying no. I wonder if anyone had ever told him no before. At least he phrased it as a question. I smiled back and sat down, setting my bag on one of the many empty seats. I put my cookie and milk in front of me. He watched me settle into my chair and open my milk. I took a drink, not breaking eye contact. 

“This is new.” I commented lightly, when it became obvious that he wasn’t going to say anything. 

“Well…” He began, only to pause in thought. He seemed to come to a decision and said the rest of the thought in a rush. “I decided that as I was going to hell, I might as well do it thoroughly.” 

“So, you’re my new friend.” I said, smiling. At least he finally made a decision.

“I…” He started, but paused again. “I got tired to trying to stay away from you. So I’m giving up.” 

“Giving up, huh?” I repeated, giving him a slight smile. 

“Yes. Giving up on trying to be good. I’m going to do what I want now, and let the chips fall where they may.” He explained as his smile faded. His face looked so sad, I wanted to comfort him, or distract him. 

“Girls always do like the bad boy, or so I’ve heard.” I said lightly. “I think you’ll be good friend, though, if you want to be.” 

“I’m not a good friend for you.” 

“I get to decide that.” 

“If you were smart, you’d avoid me.”

“Insulting my intelligence, that’s a good start.” I told him sarcastically. He smiled tightly and nodded in apology. I accepted, but my face became slightly guarded as I thought. 

“What are you thinking about?” He asked. He sounded curious and frustrated. Good.

“Secrets.” I responded. He clenched his jaw, his whole body showing tension. 

“What kind of secrets?” He asked. I smiled teasingly. 

“Oh, you know.” I said lightly. “Secrets.” He furrowed his brow in frustration and confusion again. I decided I may have to change that expression to my favorite. 

“That is really frustrating, you realize.” Edward told me, voice tense. 

“Really?” I said lightly. I ate a bite of my cookie and had a drink of milk. “Is it hard to imagine why someone keeping a secret from you could be frustrating.” I said with a meaningful look. “It’s almost like how I can’t understand how it would be frustrating to ignore the presence of someone who you sit next to every day for weeks with no explanation. Especially when you stare at them when they aren’t looking.” Edward looked surprised. The table went quiet in the wake of my passive aggressive comment. Then he looked over my shoulder and snickered. Like actually snickered. It was kind of adorable. 

“Your boyfriend seems to think I’m being unpleasant to you.” Edward informed me. “He is debating whether to come over here and break up our fight.” I laughed. 

“Which one of my suitors is it?” I asked. Edward looked amused at my response. 

“Mike.” He told me. I shook my head and chuckled. 

“His wants to be a good guy so bad.” I said in explanation. “He is overly chivalrous sometimes. He forgets that a; I’m not his girlfriend, and b; I don’t need a knight in shining armor.” I had some more cookie and milk. “And I don’t need protection from you.” He seemed darkly amused by my statements, especially the last. I offered him the last bite of my cookie. “Hungry?” I asked. His expression stayed darkly humorous. 

“No, I’m not hungry.” Edward told me, his voice tinted with amusement. I added it to my list of ways he wasn’t human. I finished the cookie and took a drink of my milk.

“I have a favor to ask.” I told him. He looked immediately suspicious. 

“That depends on what you require.” He told me guardedly. I smiled.

“Stop denying my existence when we sit next to each other.” I asked him in a put upon tone. He gave a half smile. “It’s quite frustrating and annoying. Plus it’s rude.” 

“I think I might be able to do that.” He told me. I smiled brightly at him. 

“Fabulous.”

“Then can I get one answer in return.” His tone demanded my compliance.

“That depends on the question.” I said, just as guardedly as him, though my tone was a mocking imitation of his. He acknowledged it with strained tight lips 

“Tell me one theory.” He demanded. Always demanding. “You must have them.” 

“Either that or I’m a complete bubble head.” I mumbled. His smile was amused. 

“Just one.” He prompted. I considered, biting my lip and appraising him. “Please.” His honey eyes were slightly mesmerizing. I put it on the list, along with their new shade. 

“Please?” I repeated. 

“Please tell me one little theory.” He begged, trying to sound like he wasn’t. It made me internally celebrate. He needed some humility. 

“Dragonling, about 500 years old.” I said, slightly offhand. He looked amused and confused. There goes that theory. “Or a genetic mutation. You could be starting your own Mutant X branch.” He let out a huff of laughter. I frowned. “Rude.” He laughed. 

“I will probably know eventually.” I warned him. 

“I wish you wouldn’t try.” He told me seriously. 

“Why?” 

“What if I’m not the superhero? What if I’m the bad guy?” He warned with a playful smile that was obviously a mask. I smiled playfully back, calculating.

“So you’re the anti-hero.” I said with a shrug. “Dangerous doesn’t mean evil. Those who don’t want to be the bad guy, usually aren’t the bad guy.” He looked surprised, but still severe. “You are no more dangerous than I am.” He nearly scowled.

“You’re wrong.” His voice was almost a growl. I guess he didn’t like being called not dangerous. I should endeavor to do it again soon. The growl was… nice. In a way that I wasn’t expecting. I finished my milk and set it down on the table between us. It thudded in the silence. I looked around, still watching him, and noticed that the cafeteria was nearly vacant. I sighed. 

“We’re going to be late.” I said, standing. I reached for my bag.

“I’m not going to class today.” He said, grabbing my bottle and looking it over. I slung my bag over my shoulder, wondering why. 

“Why?” I asked. It was an innocent enough question.

“It’s healthy to ditch class now and then.” He told me, smiling up at me. I debated, but decided to go. 

“Then I’ll see you after school.” I wished him goodbye and rushed to class with the other stragglers. He stayed seated at the table as I left, watching me go. 

Mr. Banner wasn’t even in the room when I arrived, leaving me to sink into my seat gratefully. Mike and Angela looked at me with eyes full of questions. I knew that she would be calling me after school. Mike just looked jealous. Mr. Banner’s entrance stopped either of them from coming over to my desk to interrogate me. He set a bunch of cardboard boxes down on his desk and had mike start passing them around to the class.

“Okay guys!” He announced, getting the attention of the class. “I want all of you to take one piece from each box.” He pulled out a pair of latex gloves and put them on. The snap of the gloves reverberated around the room. I wondered why we would need gloves. “The first should be an indicator card.” He showed a white card with four squares to the class, holding it up for everyone to see. “The second is a four-pronged applicator and the third is a sterile micro-lancet.” He held up the two items he described one at a time. My brain started whirling, trying to connect the dots. 

“I’ll be coming around with a dropper of water to prepare your cards, so please don’t start until I get to you.” He ordered, and began as Mike’s table, who had just returned to his seat, with the dropper as he continued to explain. “Then I want you to carefully prick your finger with the lancet.” He took Mike’s hand and very carefully pricked Mike’s middle finger. Blood rushed to the surface. My ears filled with static. 

Mr. Banner continued to explain, but I put my head on the desk. The cool top pressed into my forehead. My breath was slightly jagged and I couldn’t calm it. Why would Edward not come to a class on blood typing? Why would Edward know before hand? Edward didn’t like blood. Edward didn’t breath. Edward was cold to the touch. Edward said he was dangerous. I was nearly hyperventilating now. 

“Amaranth, are you alright?” Mr. Banner asked. He was right next to me, his voice inches from my ear. 

“I don’t know.” I murmured. I felt dizzy. He couldn’t be. He just couldn’t be.

“Are you feeling faint?” He asked. I murmured a yes and put a hand to my head. “Can someone take Amaranth to the nurse please?” I heard Mike volunteer and I grabbed my bag. I nearly fell trying to get up, my brain still trying to process. Trying to connect Edward with what he was. It just didn’t make sense, but the evidence was all there. 

“Can you walk?” Mr. Banner asked in concern. I stood straighter and Mike took my bag. 

“Yeah.” I said. “I’ll make it.” My voice sounded weird, even to my own ears. Angela looked concerned, and Mike looked worried too. He put one hand around my waist and helped steer me out of the classroom. My head was pounding, trying to process. My heart beat in fear. Was it going to happen again? What was I going to do? Could I hurt him even though I felt this connection to him? Would he hurt me?

We made our way outside and slowly towards the nurse’s office. Eventually, I just couldn’t continue. I pulled out of Mike’s grasp and onto a bench. I sat on the seat and put my head in my hands, trying to block everything out. Trying to stop the fear and the memories from taking over. 

“Wow, you’re pale.” Mike said, crouching down next to me. No shit. I just got a shock. He set my bag on the bench next to me. 

“Amara?” I heard a different voice call. A very familiar voice, one that had no right to be so familiar. It sent shivers up my spine and my heart skipped a beat before returning to its, faster than normal, rhythm. 

“What’s wrong? Is she hurt?” Edward asked. He sounded and looked so genuinely concerned. I tried to calm down and didn’t seem able to yet, at least not completely. 

“I don’t know.” Mike said. He was also stressed and worried. “She didn’t even stick her finger.” 

“Amara.” Edward said. He was crouched right in front of me, his face level with mine. I refused to open my eyes to meet his worried ones. I was worried it was all a farce. It all was a lie. He was going to be the same. “Can you hear me?” His voice was nearly begging, and so gentle. How could he really be… I couldn’t make sense of it. 

“Yes.” I whispered. “I’ll be fine.” He chuckled, still tense. Mike relaxed a little. 

“I’m taking her to the nurse.” Mike explained. “But she just stopped.” 

“I’ll take her.” Edward told him. I could hear his pleasure at the idea. A chill went through me and my heart skipped in my chest. At least Mike would be safe. “You go back to class.”

“No.” Mike refused. “I’m supposed to do it.” No, Mike. Go. Edward grabbed my bag over Mike’s refusal. Then I felt myself be lifted up into the bridal carry. My eyes flew open in shock and met Edward’s twinkling amused ones. Worry crinkled the edges. My heart raced and I nearly hyperventilated. His fingers touched me where my top had ridden up and a wave of relief and concern swept through me. My eyes fluttered shut and my heart rate calmed. Another wave of genuine concern and affection rushed through him and I opened my eyes. I needed to reassure him. Our eyes met again and he searched mine.

“You look awful.” He informed me. I giggled breathlessly, still recovering. He grinned. 

“I think I can walk.” I nearly whispered. Edward just kept walking.

“You can barely talk.” He reminded me. He held me away from his body now adjusting so that our skin no longer touched. But I remembered. His affection and concern were genuine. He didn’t want to hurt me. 

“So you faint at the sight of blood.” Edward said, trying to make conversation. I was confused. “And not even your own blood.” I let my eyes fall shut, tired, and let him take care of me. He really cared.

“Oh my!” Someone gasped. I felt the rush of air from the open door and the warmth as we entered the nurse’s office. 

“She fainted in Biology.” Edward explained. I opened my eyes. He could have brought me anywhere. I hadn’t struggled, but he brought me to the nurse. His concern was still real. The grandmotherly nurse held the front door open to the clinic and Edward carried me in. I watched his face, so serious and protective. He set me down on one of the clinic beds. The paper rattled under me as I settled on the cot. He pulled away as the concerned nurse took his place at my side. 

“She’s a little faint.” He explained. “They’re blood typing in Biology.” The nurse nodded in understanding as she checked me over. 

“There’s always one.” She said dryly. Edward muffled his laughter. I gave a weak smile as the nurse took my pulse. “Just lie down for a minute here honey, it will pass.”

“Ok.” I whispered. I closed my eyes and watched him watch me. He was taking care of me without knowing really anything about me. He protected me from the van, and he carried me to the nurse because he worried about me. Edward had convinced the nurse that he was supposed to stay with me, and the nurse left to get me some ice. I tried to relax some more and get my breathing back. My head wasn’t spinning so badly. 

“You scared me for a minute there.” Edward admitted quietly, after a moment of quiet. “I thought Newton was dragging you off to the woods to bury.” 

“Funny.” I whispered. He smiled. 

“Honestly, I’ve seen corpses with better color.” He joked. I bet he had. “I was concerned I might have to avenge your murder.” His face was a little too serious for that to have been entirely a joke. He really did want to protect me.

“Poor Mike.” I murmured. 

“He absolutely loathes me.” Edward gloated. I wondered again if he could read minds. Because he was sure of that as fact. I wouldn’t be too surprised. He obviously couldn’t read mine. He came running when I was in trouble. Maybe I could hope. I slowly pulled myself up into a seated position, still not opening my eyes. Edward moved closer and watched me warily. I rubbed my temples, feeling the dizziness dissipate. The door opened and the nurse came in. I opened my eyes and accepted the cold compress from her.

“Here you go dear.” She told me, helping me press it to me head. “You’re looking better.” 

“I feel better.” I nearly told her softly. The room wasn’t spinning and my heart wasn’t pounding anymore. She frowned at me and looked at the cot, but as she opened her mouth the door opened again. 

“We’ve got another one.” Ms. Cope, the receptionist, told the nurse. The nurse turned to look and I stood up. 

“They can have the cot.” I said quietly, removing the cold compress. I was proud of the fact that I didn’t sway. Much. I handed the compress back to the nurse. “Really, it was mostly the shock.” I told her, my voice more normal. “I’ll be fine.” 

Then the door opened and Mike pulled a pale looking boy through the door. I think it was Lee, but my eyes were on Edward as he murmured ‘oh no’. I went to him quickly nearly stumbling in my haste. Lee was bleeding.

“Go out of the office, Amara.” Edward ordered. There is a time to protest being ordered around. That was not it. I went, letting him usher me out into the reception area. The door to the clinic swung shut and Edward visibly relaxed. I sagged and went over to the bench. Edward shadowed me. I smiled up at his worried face. 

“Still recovering a little, I think.” I confided in him. He nodded and looked me over quickly. Mike came out of the nurses’ office. 

“How are you feeling?” He asked. “You look a lot better.” He reminded me, in that moment, of a puppy. I smiled weakly at him. 

“Much.” I assured him. “I don’t think I’m up for class though.” Mike nodded, taking in the way I was propping myself up against the wall. “Let them know?” 

“Of course.” Mike promised. He glared at Edward. I guess he really did loath him. He turned back to me. “Will you feel better for the beach this weekend?” I smiled and nodded. He smiled back.

“We’re meeting and my dad’s store at ten.” He told me, his eyes glaring daggers at Edward. 

“I’ll be there.” I promised, still not 100%, but getting there. Mike smiled and I waved as he left. I sighed and relaxed back into the wall, closing my eyes. Edward looked me over and nodded slightly to himself. 

“Stay here and look pale.” Edward ordered, then walked over to the counter to Ms. Cope.

“Not a problem.” I whispered. Edward chuckled lightly before talking to Ms. Cope softly at the counter. I didn’t bother following the conversation, although I did hear him saying he was going to take me home. Soon enough, Edward was back, crouching down to my level. I opened my eyes when I smelled his breath on my face. It was strangely sweet. 

“Do you need me to carry you, or can you walk?” He asked, voice teasing. Despite that, I could see the genuine offer underneath. I shook my head and stood, more carefully than usual. More carefully than I needed to. 

“I’ll walk.” I told him. I tried to ignore the part of me that wanted to be carried again. We walked out into the parking lot again, into the misting rain. It felt refreshing and clean. 

“Thank you.” I told him softly as we walked. Thank you for not hurting me. Thank you for being genuine. He smiled as he walked next to me.

“You’re welcome.” He told me softly back. At the parking lot, I went towards my car. He grabbed my arm and stopped me. “Where do you think you’re going?” I looked at him curiously.

 

“My car?” I told him, voice questioning, but strong again. He sounded angry for some reason. 

“Didn’t you hear me promise to take you safely home?” He asked indignantly. “Do you really think I am going to let you drive in your condition?” 

“Then we take my car.” I insisted. “You can walk back to get yours like a proper knight in shining armor.” He looked slightly affronted. “Mine’s a classic, I can’t just leave it here.” He looked torn. “It’s only a 30 minute walk.” I added. Although for him, it wouldn’t take that long. 

“Mine gets better gas mileage.” Edward argued. I rolled my eyes.

“A; it’s a 5 minute drive. B; that engine has been entirely rebuilt. C; Its worth three times yours.” I poked the hand still clutching my arm. “And D; It was a gift from my Grandfather, so I’m not leaving it behind.” He let go of my arm, eyes regretful. 

“Give me your keys.” He demanded. I raised my eyebrows, putting my hand in my pocket. 

“I think you’re missing a please in there, or am I your servant?” I retorted. He took a deep, if unnecessary breath, and held his hand out.

“Please give me your keys.” He asked. I smiled and placed them in his palm. He led me over to my own car, watching me the whole time. I wasn’t going to fall now. I was watching him. He opened my door for me, well the passenger door anyway. I got in and buckled up. Edward set my bag at my feet before crossing to the other side of the car and getting in the driver’s seat. 

He started the car and the lovely tones of Bing Crosby came through my speakers singing Swinging on a Star. He looked over at me with a raised eyebrow. 

“You listen to Bing Crosby?” He asked. I looked over at him like he was crazy. 

“Of course I listen to Bing.” I told him. “And Sinatra, and the rest of the Rat Pack.” He smiled indulgently. “My grandfather’s favorite was Nat King Cole.” I went sad and quiet. 

“What was your Grandfather like?” Edward asked. I smiled sadly for a moment. 

“He’s still alive.” I said sadly. Edward looked confused. 

“Then why are you adopted?” He asked, confused. I sighed. 

“My grandfather can’t remember his name most of the time anymore.” I said quietly, nearly blending in with the music. I wasn’t afraid that he couldn’t hear me. His hearing would be good enough. His kind heard well like that. I held in the shiver at the thought of what else his kind could do. Edward was driving us to my house, despite the fact I hadn’t told him where I lived. Was he stalking me? Was he the reason I got blackout curtains and put up a camera? I hadn’t been visited since, but I wondered. I hoped it was curiosity. 

“When I was little, he used to play me all kinds of music. He liked anything.” I remembered his smile as he would show me knew things. I smiled as the next song in the mix came on. 

“Green Day?” Edward asked incredulously. I giggled. His expression was priceless. 

“I told you: anything.” I reminded him. He smiled but shook his head at me. “Anyway, he’s being taken care of. I visit occasionally, but he barely recognizes me anymore.” Grandfather was lost in his head now. I smiled sadly as I thought about the last time I saw him. 

“How old are you?” He asked, frustrated. I frowned, but gave the answer that I had given my friends at school. 

“I’ll be having an 18th birthday party in June.” I told him. No need to mention that it wouldn’t be my first 18th birthday party. I was skilled at misleading truths. I had to be. 

“You don’t seem 17.” He remarked. His tone bordered on angry. Why was he angry? It’s not like he knew I was misleading him. I supposed that whole jailbait thing wasn’t good. 

“And you do?” I countered. He frowned. We were already on my street now, driving to the end of the road where my house was. The rain poured down in sheets, streaming down the windows and giving everything outside an otherworldly quality. I let up, not making him answer. “When you lose people, you grow up.” I said wistfully. I shook off the feeling. “But at least I have Beth.” Edward smiled. 

“Beth?” He asked. I nodded. 

“My adoptive family.” I said. He smiled at the happiness in my voice. “I would do anything for her. She is just… a wonderful person that means the world to me.” I smiled at our house as we pulled into the driveway. I reached over and pushed the garage button, surprising Edward and making him flinch back. He obeyed my unspoken wish and pulled into the garage. “She’s the practically the only family I can really talk to and have now, and my best friend.” Edward smiled and stopped the car. He pushed the button to close the garage before I could. I pulled myself out of the car and grabbed my bag. 

“What about you?” I asked. He instantly stiffened as he got out of the car. 

“What about me?” He asked cautiously. I nearly rolled my eyes at how obvious he was.

“Do you have any living family other than the Cullens?” I asked. He shook his head in denial. 

“No.” He answered. “The Carlisle and Esme have been my parents for a long time now.” I nodded sagely and opened the door to the house. He followed, looked around avidly as we entered the kitchen. 

“It must be nice to have siblings.” I pushed slightly. I made sure to try and keep the questions vague and in the present tense, the same way that I would have liked them. Less lying needed. I hoped he wouldn’t lie. 

“Siblings who are going to be very unhappy if they have to walk because I’m not back.” He hinted. I laughed. He looked around again. “Although I don’t like leaving you here alone.” He really did sound worried. 

“I’ll be fine.” I told him. No need to tell him that I would probably be more nervous with him here. He put my every nerve on edge, in both a good way and a bad way. 

“Promise me you will call for help if you need it. And rest.” Edward demanded, looking into my eyes. His eyes were a swirling golden sparked void of darkness. My heart skipped a beat, and I wasn’t entirely sure of the cause. He backed toward to door. 

“I will.” I promised. I quickly had a thought. “In fact, I think I’ll just take the day off tomorrow to recover.” Edward smiled at the suggestion as he opened the door to the onslaught of the rain. 

“Be careful.” He ordered. I smiled at him and closed and locked the door as he left. I pressed my back against it and slid down slowly until I was sitting on the floor. 

“Hell.” I cursed, staring straight ahead of me, my eyes wide and unseeing.


	4. Revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So glad to hear that the story is being enjoyed. Hope you like the new information. Amara is starting to spill a secret or two.   
> Comments and Kudos are love.

Vampire.

Edward was a vampire.

The boy, man, whatever he was, that I had been crushing on for over a month was the creature I most feared in all the world. 

I sat alone in my darkened room on my spacious bed and wished that I could go back to yesterday, when things had been simpler. I had wanted to know, but I hadn’t wanted it to be this. Now I had been obsessing over this for hours, and the day would dawning soon.

“Wherefore art thou?” I whispered, reminiscing on Shakespeare. We did he have to be a Vampire? Anything else I could have dealt with easily, I could have handled it and there would have been no major problems. But a vampire? I put a hand on my neck, remembering the way that they had torn into me. Weeks that I… 

I was shaking by the end of that thought. It had been years, decades even. Yet ever time I thought of that room and that time I was back to the scared and hurt little girl I had been. I tried to calm myself by reminding myself that I had my full powers now. Unlike before, I could now remove the chains. I could light the vampire on fire myself, without waiting and hoping a fire would get close enough to direct. I was strong. I looked over at my desk and the scissors sitting on the top. But even there was a threat. A lethal weapon.

What if Edward found out? I was so careful at school. Don’t touch the railings. Don’t touch the legs of the desk. Don’t take anything without looking at it first. Edward was hyper observant and maybe a little obsessed with me. Could I hide it from him? Could I pretend that I wasn’t his favorite prey and be his friend? Could I be his friend? Did I want to be more than his friend? I thought I did, but I had never wanted such a thing before.

“Arg!” I growled. I flung myself off my bed and paced the dark room in front of my full length mirror. Could I trust him? That’s what it all came down to. I needed to know if I could trust him and if I thought he was worth the risk. I pictured him in my mind again and thought about the connection that we had had since first sight. The way it felt like I was touching pure energy and desire whenever out hands brushed. What was this? 

“Grandfather.” I whispered. “Help me.” I faced the mirror and touched my hand to it, whispering in an old nearly forgotten tongue. The mirror shimmered and the view in it changed. The inside of a cave appeared, lit by torches lit with strange blue fire. I looked over next to my desk and grabbed a small box and pulled it to my hand by force of will, catching it in my outstretched hand. Box in hand, I took a deep breath and stepped through the portal.

********

“G’day to ye Mistress.” Wren greeted as I entered the main chamber. Her voice was the familiar Irish lilt, with its trace of something else. Her voice was pleasant, like that of a maidenly aunt, wise with age and soft with home and hearth. 

“Good day and good morrow.” I returned stepping past the small wooden table and its three chairs. Wren came into view in the torchlight. She was a slight creature, like a small child. Her clothes were the same homespun they always were. Her green patterned dress was covered by an apron and a matching cap. Both were decorated in pockets and buttons of various colors and sizes. Her pointed ears stuck up on each side of the cap, peeking out through her course nut brown hair. As I walked forward, I knelt and presented the box. I still had to look down 6 inches to look her in the eyes. 

“A gift for the keeper of the house.” I said formally. Wren smiled and accepted it formally, bowing over it. 

“May blessin’s pour over ye like sweet honey.” She wished. Her voice always reminded me of honey personified. She was one of the few House Brownies that I had met, and she was the kindest. But the all were sweet, provided you obeyed the rules. Rule number 1: Brownies got honey and grain. Wren put her box in her pocket, knowing the contents. It shrunk down to fit inside. 

“What brings ye here?” Wren asked, losing the formality and looking interested, and concerned at my expression. 

“I met a vampire.” I told her. She looked immediately concerned. 

“Horrid creatures.” She bit out angrily. I nodded. 

“You know my past, Wren.” I reminded her. She nodded and sympathetically put a hand on my arm. I settled back on my legs, sitting on the floor. I looked past her toward the bedroom where my grandfather was. “How is he?” I asked. 

“Lost in the future.” She told me sadly. “Such a sad tale.” I nodded. She looked back at me sharply. “But the vampire?” I nodded.  
“He doesn’t feed on humans, none of his coven do.” I explained. She looked skeptical. I nodded in confirmation. “I checked.” I sighed. “He doesn’t know what I am, but he saved me from being crushed by an iron car.” Wren looked mildly horrified. 

“Crushed?” She asked. I nodded.

“And he has repeatedly tried to protect me and warn me that he is dangerous.” I admitted. Wren looked confused. “Then there’s the fact that from the first time I met him, I’ve felt a… connection. Touching him is like touching liquid fire. I can’t seem to stop looking at him, even before I knew what he was. I can stop thinking about him. And I want to kiss him.” I confessed. Wren’s face went from surprised, to suspicious, to resigned and accepting as I spoke. 

“Oh ya poor thing.” She said, coming closer and putting a hand on my shoulder. 

“What is it?” I asked. She hesitated. “Please, I have to know.” I begged. She sighed. 

“Madness of the heart.” Wren said, in a voice that conveyed both joy and sadness. I was still confused. “Love at first sight, poor lass.” I was dumbstruck for a moment. I let it sink in. Then I looked up at the ceiling. 

"Whoever loved that loved not at first sight?" I quoted at a whisper. I let a tear fall from my eye. She let me have my moment. I wiped the tear away, and looked at her seriously. “Does he feel the same?” I asked. She nodded. 

“He must, and his actions speak.” Wren reminded me. I nodded, and let out a long lo breath. 

“What am I to do?” I asked myself. She sighed and tutted. 

“Do what all in love do: Fall.” Wren said gently. I ran a hand over my mouth, trying to compose myself. “Pray that he will catch you.” 

“And if he doesn’t?” I asked, afraid. Wren gripped my shoulder. 

“Run.” She said seriously. She comforted me as I buried my face in my hands and cried. 

********

I backed out of the beach trip on Saturday, pleading that I wasn’t feeling well. I must have sounded convincing over the phone, because Mike, Angela, and Jessica all agreed that I sounded like I needed the rest. Angela volunteered to come over, and I let her do so on Sunday. We watched old Bond films and ate popcorn. Angela looked concerned, but said I looked miles better than I had on Thursday at school. When she was sure I wasn’t going to faint she began the interrogation. 

“So… you and Edward looked friendly.” Angela hinted. I groaned and hid my face. “Come on, dish.” She ordered playfully. “I understand if you really don’t want to talk, but better me than Jessica.” I laughed ruefully. She laughed with me. 

“She means well.” I defended. Angela nodded. 

“I know.” She agreed. She leaned forward again on the couch facing me. “Spill.” I took a deep breath. 

“I like him.” I admitted. She made a victorious sound, then quickly shut her mouth and indicated that I continue. “He invited me over because he wants to be my friend.”

“Edward Cullen wants to be your friend.” She repeated. I nodded. “This is huge.” I agreed. 

“I’ve never liked someone before.” I added. Angela looked so sympathetic. “I’m okay with it if all he wants is friendship, but he literally carried me into the nurses’ office on Thursday when I was too dizzy to walk.” Angela gasped. 

“Really?” She asked. I confirmed. “That is so romantic.” I tried to hide my smile. 

“It was, kinda.” I admitted, giving a shy smile. “He was really worried about me.” Angela nodded. 

“We all were.” She told me. “You looked like death warmed over.” I nodded. 

“I’ve being doing some major resting these past couple of days.” I informed her. “I barely got out of bed.” Angela rested a hand on my leg and patted it gently. I took comfort in it. 

“So are you going to sit with Edward now?” She asked. She sounded a little worried. I furrowed my brow in confusion. 

“Maybe Monday.” I started. She looked resigned. “But I think I’ll see about switching. Give you both joint custody.” I joked. She smiled and laughed. 

“Really?” She double checked. I nodded. 

“I don’t want to lose the friends I have, just because I’ve made another.” I admitted. She smiled hugely and leaned into give me a hug. I accepted it gladly with a smile of my own. A text alert went off on her phone and she pulled back to take a look.

“That’s my mom.” She said regretfully. “She’s outside.” I sighed dramatically, making the both of us giggle. I helped her gather her stuff and walked her out to her mom’s car, waving to them both as them left. 

********

Monday was bright and sunny. I wasn’t sure if I was happy or sad that I wouldn’t be seeing Edward today. I took the opportunity of throw on a tee shirt and go for a super light jacket. 

Mike found me almost as soon as I parked and started asking how I was feeling. He was relieved that I was better and seemed genuinely happy to see me. 

“Great day, isn’t it?” He commented. I smiled. 

“Definitely.” I agreed. “It’s beautiful.” 

“Jessica told me that you and Angela watched movies yesterday.” Mike said. His tone was a little more guarded now, and he looked uncertain. 

“Yeah.” I confirmed. “We watched some Bond films and made cookies.” I wondered where he was going with this. “It was about all I was up for.” I was playing up my ‘illness’ a little, but sue me. He smiled and nodded understandingly. He licked his lips nervously and swallowed. 

“She also said you like Cullen.” Mike nearly bit out. He made Cullen sound like a curse word. I sighed, and cursed myself for not anticipating this. 

“Yeah.” I admitted. He looked upset. “I don’t know if I will ever do anything about it, but yeah. I like him.” I told a slightly angry Mike. Poor guy. But he need to understand it was not going to happen. “I’ve never liked someone before.” He looked upset.

“Not me.” He said softly. I felt so bad for the guy, but I couldn’t give him false hope.

“No, Mike.” I said gently. “And even if I did, I wouldn’t have done that to Jessica.” Now he looked confused. Much better than hurt. 

“Jessica?” He repeated. “What does she have to do with anything?” I rolled my eyes at the strangeness of teenage boys. 

“Jessica likes you.” I spelled out for him. “She wants to date you.” He looked like this was a revelation. “And I think you guys would be great for each other.” He looked at me with a slightly dazed expression. “Go ask her out.” I instructed. I left him behind in the parking lot, deep in thought, and made my way to my first class. 

In Trig, Jessica wanted to dissect my conversation with Edward. I gave her an edited version and the girls all gushed. I admitted to the girls that I liked him, and only him, and they thought it was romantic. Jessica invited me to come with them dress shopping with them in Port Angeles. I agreed readily, claiming that I would be their fashion advisor. They laughed at my impression of a designer. 

Monday secretly dragged. It felt like part of me was missing all the time. Edward’s face filled my mind and my heart begged me to go find him. It was a palpable pain to be separated for so long. This, of nothing else, would have convinced me of my madness of the heart. 

I despaired when I woke up to a bright shining sun on Tuesday. I knew that I would not see him and the very thought sent a bolt of pain through me. I forced myself to get up and ready for school, though I couldn’t bear the thought of eating anything. His absence was an ache that would not go away. I dreamt of just… holding his hand… touching him at all. I needed him close like oxygen. Was this love, or just obsession? I didn’t know, but I didn’t think I had a choice. My fate was sealed the day I met him. I could only hope he wouldn’t kill me. Or worse. 

School never ended, of so it seemed. I spent all my energy trying to appear normal. It worked ok. Jessica, Angela, and I all headed out after school to Port Angeles for our shopping trip after dropping my car off in my garage. Jessica drove us all out of the city limits. I stared out the window, thinking about Edward and wondering where he was now. I knew that this trip was putting off the inevitable. If I didn’t see him by tomorrow, I would have to go looking for him. The emptiness was becoming unbearable. I just needed to see him. My Edward.

********

I was embracing the girl’s night out with as much gusto as I could manage. It was nowhere near my first shopping trip. I had done my time. I thought back fondly of the many times I had gone shopping with Beth as she was growing up. I remembered her pink phase that lasted from the age of four until eight, at which point she decided it was a horrible color and took scissors to everything pink in her room, which happened to be almost everything. I smiled, and joined back in the conversation about boy bands that Jessica had started. 

Port Angeles had decided to pass of old, and go for vintage. The atmosphere was polished and family friendly, while still catering to the retired crowd. The whole effect was picturesque, and nice, actually. Jessica and Angela had obviously been here before, and took us directly to the more business area with dress shop. 

We bemoaned Tyler’s latest fiasco. He had assumed we were going to Prom together. When I mentioned to Lauren yesterday that I didn’t know if I ever wanted to go to any dance, she had asked why I was going to Prom with Tyler then. Her tone was near furious, but the shock and pure incomprehension must have showed. Apparently, Tyler had been spreading that I had agreed to go to Prom with him. Angela said she hadn’t believed him at all, as did Jessica, so now the three of us were planning out how to embarrass Tyler for being a presumptuous ass. 

The dress shop was smaller than others I had been to, but it did the job. Jessica and Angela tried on various dresses while I made them do model walks and gave them complements, and raised eyebrows as appropriate. The girls decided on dresses, then the three of us picked over the shoes and accessories, picking the perfect outfits for the dance. 

My ability to maintain a conversation was waning. I needed a break to rally again, so when the girls suggested that they drop their purchases off at the car before going for a walk by the water, I decided to bow out. I told them I was interested in visiting the little bookstore down the way and that I would meet them at the Italian restaurant for dinner. They agreed, thought Angela looked slightly worried. I smiled and waved them off as I went in the direction of the bookstore. 

It felt horrible. Like my skin was tight and dry. I found myself straining to see in all directions with and eyes and with my second sight. I needed to see him. I just needed him. The bookstore didn’t hold my attention, but I wasn’t ready to face the girls again. I just walked and shut everything out.

Edward’s face filled my eyes. Edward’s voice filled my ears. I could almost imagine that I was really walking towards him. This felt so deranged. I had never felt so captive by another person before. The only thing I could hope for at this point, was that he was as much my captive, as I was his. 

The beep of my phone startled me out of my contemplation. Checking it, I realized that it had just died, leaving me with a fancy paper weight. I looked around, my eyes still trained on the phone. Around me were warehouses, and very few people. I supposed that was what I got for wandering in a town I didn’t know. I had just turned at a corner and I walked down the block with more purpose. At the end of the block, turning another corner, four rough-looking men appeared. They were all in their late twenties and thirties, and appeared to be coming from a bar. I gave them room, not looking at them. 

“Hey there!” One of them greeted, voice slightly slurred with drink. I didn’t look up, but kept on walking at they passed. The other’s laughed at the one who had spoken. He was a sturdily build twenty-something in flannel and jeans. 

“Hey, wait!” Another one of them called after me. That one was slightly less drunk, but I didn’t turn. This was not my first encounter with drunk men. I was not going to give them any reason to think I was interested. Usually, that was all it took. If that didn’t work… That was why I knew how to fight and use my powers. I took a moment to adjust my skin to impenetrable. By anything but iron at least. As I rounded the corner, I found myself on a deserted street that faced nothing but the silent backs of warehouses. An ominous setting for sure. 

A car passed by, the only one that I could see. Then it turned out of sight. It left me on the block alone with the two men following me. The two men were, unsurprisingly, two of the men from before. They shadowed my pace, slightly herding me. I quickly took inventory mentally as I kept my steady pace to the end of the silent block. My wallet, cell phone, and keys were all safely tucked into pockets. My hands were free. I had enough strength now to break their arms. Knives were the problem. I need to avoid them. Their composition was almost entirely iron, and they could harm me. Not that they would kill me, but being stabbed hurt. I remembered. 

I reached a blind alley, passing it without turning my head, acting as if I knew exactly where I was going. A blue car passed and disappeared down the road. The men fell back, giving me more space. I knew better than to think that meant they had given up. They were too quiet for that. Ahead of me, I saw a stop sign, indicating an intersection and more traffic. I knew that more traffic was what I needed, but I kept walking at me steady pace. Running would mean they would chase me. I needed to be boring. I didn’t think it was working. Both men were staring and me and one licked his lips. I held in the shudder. 

I let out a relieved breath as I reached the next intersection, only to have my blood freeze. The street was lined with walls. No doors. No windows. No cars. No people. No safety. This was reinforced by the sight of the remaining two of the four men, who were leaning against a building halfway down the street, waiting. Waiting for me to be herded right to them. 

I didn’t pause. I turned toward them, and looked past them, where I could see the cars pass and lights and people. My eyes didn’t waver and my expression stayed serious, but my hands clenched and my heart sped like I was sprinting. 

“There you are!” Boomed an overly loud, slightly drunk voice. The first man from before, clad in blue flannel, shouted back at the others behind me.

“Yeah.” Called a response from behind. They were closer now. “We took a little detour.” They thought they were playing a game. I need to play a game of break their faces. I refused to slow. I approached the pair of men and they stepped away from the wall, blocking my path.   
“Excuse me.” I said with a polite calmness I didn’t feel.

“Hey there sugar.” He said, stepping closer. “It’s awfully rude to ignore somebody who’s talking to you.” I frowned and saw the two other’s approach behind me to pen me in. I moved my feet into a fighting stance and brought my fists up into a guard position. 

“You should learn some manners.” One of the other men said, his voice suggestive. I prepared for the attack.

Headlights came streaming around the corner, throwing the darkened street into relief. The car nearly hit the first man in flannel, the one obviously in charge and forced him to jump back. I stayed still as the car maneuvered around, spinning so that the passenger side faced me. The door flew open. 

“Get in.” The voice commanded. I would know that voice anywhere. Edward. I would have gotten in no matter what. I rushed to get into the car and slammed the door shut. The car started moving again, but all I could do was take in Edward’s face. He was here. He had protected me again. He was my knight in shining crappy car.

“Put on your seat belt.” He ordered. I did so in a daze, clutching at it to stop myself from reaching out to grab him. I took a deep breath of the Edward scented air and for the first time since Edward had left my house on Thursday, I felt whole. I relaxed and looked him over to see how he was doing. He was tense. I supposed that me nearly being attacked did that to him. The car came to a stop, somewhere out of town. It was quiet. 

“Amara?” He asked. He voice showed his obvious tension. 

“Yes.” I answered. And god did I sound like an awestruck teen. I swallowed. 

“Are you alright?” He asked. He was looking straight ahead into the darkness. I smiled at the thought. He really did worry about me. 

“I’m fine.” I assured him. He nodded tersely in recognition.

“Distract me.” He demanded. I was confused. 

“What?” I said. He let out an angry huff. 

“Just prattle on about something unimportant until I calm down.” He demanded. I was going to have to cure him of his habit of demanding things, but after he wasn’t feeling homicidal. 

“I’m planning on embarrassing Tyler in front of his friends tomorrow.” I told him cheerfully. 

“Why?” Edward asked, his mouth twitching in an almost smile, but his eyes closed. 

“Because he seems to think that he is entitled to take me to Prom, whether or not he asks me.” I told him. Edward found my indignation funny. “I am going to remind him that I have told him no now three times. And I want to make it publicly know that I will not ever be dating him, no matter what he says to the contrary.” 

“I heard about that.” Edward admitted. 

“Some friend you are.” I grumbled. “You’re supposed to tell me these things.” I huffed in indignation again. “Maybe I’ll, I don’t know, break his arm or something.” Edward chuckled, then sighed. 

“Better?” I asked. 

“Not really.” He admitted. I guessed what was happening here. 

“As the offended party in that incident, I can say that if anyone gets to break something important on them, it should be me.” I reminded him. Edward looked over at me with a little surprise. “So, I don’t want them mangled or assaulted.” 

“They should be…” Edward began, but cut himself off. 

“They are humans who make mistakes.” I admitted. “Maybe some good Samaritan will drop them off for the police to pick up.” I offered. It went silent as Edward thought about this. I looked at the clock.

“Jessica and Angela will be worried.” I murmured. “I was supposed to meet them.” He turned the engine back on wordlessly and smoothly turned us back into the town. Before I knew it we were parking outside the restaurant where I had agreed the meet the girls. We caught them as they walked about of La Bella Italia.

“Jess!” I called, getting their attention. “Angela!” The turned, finding me waving at them. They were both relieved to see me, but that relief turned to suspicion when they was that Edward was behind me. The girls came over to join us. 

“Where have you been?” Jessica asked, suspicion lacing her tone. 

“I got lost.” I admitted, looking ashamed. “I would still be wandering if Edward hadn’t found me.” Jessica still looked a little suspicious, but Angela believed me. She was a sweetheart. 

“Would it be alright if I joined you?” Edward asked. Jessica was flustered by his charm and murmured an affirmative. 

“Um, actually, we already ate while we were waiting for you.” Angela admitted. “Sorry.” I shrugged. 

“It’s fine.” I told her. 

“I think you eat something.” Edward recommended, but with the air of someone who expected that all of their recommendations were as good as law. And then I was annoyed. “Do you mind if I drive Amara home? That way you won’t have to wait while she eats.” Angela was the one who agreed, after a subtle nod from me, and dragged Jessica away. I turned to Edward. 

“Shall we?” I asked, indicating the restaurant. He smiled and walked me to the door, opening it for me. I walked past him into the restaurant. 

The place wasn’t too crowded. The host was a young woman in her early twenties whose eyes lit up when she saw Edward. I considered for a moment, then decided to turn on that old Seelie charm. After she welcomed him warmly, and overly so, so turned to me. He mouth opened in an Oh and her face was a little awed. Maybe I over did it. I toned it down. 

“A table for two?” Edward requested. His voice was molten gold; beautiful, rich, and fluid. She was mesmerized again, but kept her distance, an eye on me. I gave her a gentle smile. Not her fault he was so damn attractive. But damn if I was going to put up with someone trying to take what was mine. She led us to a table, only to have Edward smoothly tip her and asked for something more private. 

“Sure.” She said, surprised. She led us around a partition to an empty section, showing us a booth. Edward dazzled the poor girl with a smile that had her unsteady on her feet. After she left I turned to him. 

“Turn down the charm.” I recommended. “Less people to turn down that way.” He looked confused. I rolled my eyes. “You have a charm that captivates people. Your eyes, your looks. You draw them in without trying. So you have to try to not.” Edward looked at me pointedly. 

“Do I charm you?” He asked pointedly. I smiled. 

“Occasionally.” I admitted. “When you aren’t ordering me around.” He looked amused. 

Our server arrived with an eager and nervous expression. I held in the eye roll. She looked Edward over and wasn’t disappointed. Then she glanced at me. She did a double take and stopped looking quite as eager. Good old Seelie charm.

“Hello.” She greeted. “My name is Amber, and I’ll be you server tonight. What can I get you to drink?” She looked to Edward, who looked to me. I considered it for a moment. 

“Coke.” I ordered. 

“Two Cokes.” Edward added. 

“I’ll be right back with that.” She told us, giving us both a smile, which I returned. Edward wasn’t watching. He was watching me closely. She left to get us our drinks.

“How are you feeling?” He asked carefully, watching me just as carefully. I was confused. 

“I’m fine.” I told him.

“You don’t feel dizzy, sick, cold…?” He asked.

“Should I?” I asked, surprised at this line of questioning. He chuckled. 

“Well, I’m actually waiting for you to go into shock.” He admitted, giving me a breathtaking lopsided smile. I took a deep breath.

“That’s not going to happen.” I assured him. “I promise.”

“Just the same, I’ll feel better when you have some sugar and food in you.” Edward informed me. So would I. I hadn’t eaten all day. I missed him too badly. And now he was here, so I could eat. As if she had heard me, the waitress appeared with our drinks and breadsticks. 

“Are you ready to order?” She asked, turning to me first. I smiled at her gratefully and she smiled back. 

“I’ll have the eggplant parmigiana.” I told her. She looked to Edward. 

“Nothing for me.” Edward told her. Because he didn’t eat. She left with our orders, leaving us alone again.

“Drink.” He ordered as soon as she left. I frowned at him. He pushed the drink closer. 

“You will learn to ask instead of demand.” I informed him, putting my hand around my glass and raising an eyebrow expectantly. He huffed. 

“Please drink.” He asked impatiently. I smiled at him and took a long drink of the coke. The sugar was a great relief to my system. I let out a satisfied ‘ah’ after I finished drinking. The cup was mostly empty. I grabbed a bread stick and took a bite. Edward looked like he was going to laugh. 

“You must have been hungry.” He said in an amused tone. I smiled with chagrin and swallowed. 

“I might have not eaten today.” I admitted. He looked supremely unamused now.

“Are you feeling ok?” He asked in concern. 

“I am now.” I told him. I finished off my drink and reached for his as I took the last swallow. He looked at me in amusement again.

“Thirsty?” He teased. I laughed. 

“I need the sugar.” I teased back. He chuckled. I finished my breadstick and took another swallow. He watched me cautiously. I chuckled at him.

“I’m not going to go into shock.” I promised him. 

“You should be.” He countered. “A normal person would be. You don’t look shaken.” I smiled at him. 

“There’s reasons.” I said vaguely. His eyes narrowed. 

“What reasons?” He demanded. I smiled at him and raised an eyebrow. “Please tell me the reasons.” His tone was measured and slightly forced. 

“Sure, there’s three.” I told him with a smile. “First, not the first time I’ve been in that situation.” I could hear fabric rip. “I’m tougher than I look and no one laid a hand on me. Although, that was two on one, not four on one.” He looked like he wanted to kill someone. I smiled at him, relaxed. “Second, I’m safe with you.” This upset him even more. He frowned at me.

“This is getting more complicated.” He murmured. His eyes snapped up to mine. “What was the third reason?” He asked, careful to keep his tone on the side of a request. I let out a long breath. 

“You’ve seen me go into shock.” I admitted. He looked confused. I sighed. “Thursday.” He looked to be evaluating his memories of Thursday and his eyebrows went up. I finished the second soda while he did so. The server came back with my food before he could say anything. She asked if there was anything else she could do, and Edward got enough control over himself to order more Coke before she walked away. 

“You were in shock.” He said, deadpan. I nodded seriously. “Why?” I swallowed.

“Why did you not show up the one day that we were going to bleed in class?” I countered lightly. His face looked dark. I smiled. “You would have known already if you could read my mind.” I teased. He tensed further. “Relax Edward, I have my own secrets to share.” He looked caught between facing the gallows, and the greatest adventure. I bit my lip and looked around quickly. I held my hand over the lit candle at the table and pulled the flamer up. I shaped it into a dancing woman before his surprised eyes, then let it fall back to burn the wick.

“I told you I could surprise you.” The server took that moment to come and go with the Coke. I smiled and thanked her, taking a bite of my dinner. 

“You…” Edward began, but didn’t start. I swallowed. 

“I’m trusting you with my life.” I told him seriously. He looked at me like I was a revelation. “I think I can. We can talk more in the car.” I ate some more of my meal quickly shoveling in as any calories as I could. The meal ended quickly, Edward letting me eat. He paid the bill in cash, not even looking at the total. 

We walked out of the restaurant under the observing eyes of a few of the wait staff. Edward kept careful space between us. I loathed every inch. I wanted to reach and hold his hand. He opened the car door for me and closed it before walking around to his side of the car. He moved into traffic fluidly before he gripped the steering wheel tightly. 

“Explain.” He ordered. I waited. “Please.” He added. I smiled. 

“I’m a witch.” I told him. He twisted his hands on the steering wheel. I swallowed. “And I’m… I’m fey.” His head whipped to look at me in shock. I stared resolutely forward. 

“Fey.” He repeated. “A fey purposely revealing herself to a vampire.” He sounded disbelieving, and I didn’t blame him. 

“I trust you.” I reminded him. “You don’t want to hurt me.” Edward turned back to the road and shook his head in denial. “You would protect me.”

“Of course.” He said immediately. I smiled and relaxed a tick. 

“That’s why I’m telling you.” I said. It was quiet for a long moment. The forest and highway whizzed by, much faster than it should.

“That’s how you know…” He trailed off. 

“You are not the first vampire’s that I have met.” I said hesitantly. I swallowed and tremored a little. He looked alarmed. “I was seven when two vampires found out I was fey. They had me for weeks.” I was whispering, barely getting it out. He looked horrified. I swallowed. 

“How did you get free?” He asked lowly. “Are they still looking for you?” I shook my head. 

“I ripped my hands free of the cuffs and when a bomb fell nearby, I channeled the fire and destroyed them.” I whispered. “They were nothing but ash.” 

“You killed them.” He said, sounding relieved. I nodded. 

“So I know about vampires.” I said, saying the word out loud. “I was a little surprised, to say the least, when I met you. I didn’t even see you as vampires. Eye color was wrong. No deaths in the area. I had to do research to find out to it was possible to feed off of animals.” 

“It’s not easy.” Edward commented. 

“Nothing worth doing ever is.” I remarked. Edward gave a wane smile. 

“Why didn’t you run?” He asked. I swallowed. 

“I’ll tell you later.” I promised. He looked irritated. “Saturday.” I suggested. “We can spend the day together.” He seemed ok with that. I swallowed again. “And… If you… If you trust your family, then… then I will too.” Edward looked surprised again. I liked the looked of surprise on his face. 

We pulled up to my house and stopped. I turned to him and reached out. I touched his hand for a moment before he pulled it away. But I felt the fierce protectiveness that was still there. And the love. I smiled at him. He loved me.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” I told him. I wanted to kiss him goodbye. Parting is such sweet sorrow. What was I, a teenager again?


End file.
